“When it comes to our “Why?”, I think it’s important to be selfish!”
In what is widely known as the first Autobiography ever written in Western Literature, Confessions, Augustine of Hippo or St. Augustine, depending on what your religious beliefs are or lack thereof, Asserts, “I did not sin for the sake of sinning or because I had anything to gain from it. I sinned because of the people I sinned with (Baron .” As the story continues, (St.) Augustine turns away from his vices, gets his life together, and finds happiness and fullfilment.
You’re probably thinking, “That’s nice, and perhaps even a little dark, but how does that apply to my martial arts training?”
Thanks for Asking! We all know someone, even if that person is ourselves, that trains in martial arts just for the social aspect of it or because they have a crush on someone else that trains. Usually, these people either quit or lose the passion for training as soon as their friends or love interest quits. Think back; you might be able to identify some in your martial arts career yourself! These people do not train unconditionally, and personally, I think they are wasting their time. So relating back to (St.) Augustine we need to ask ourselves critically, “Why are we training?”
Do you train because you want to improve yourself?
Do you train because you think it’s fun?
Do you train because of friends that you train with?
When it comes to our “Why?”, I think it’s important to be selfish! Sure paying it forward, and contributing to the next generation of martial artists is important, but if you don’t find that fun or enriching, you should find yourself a new hobby where you find passion!
I teach because it’s fun. I train because I like to learn things and I like to stay in shape. It’s incredibly important that we ask ourselves why we train, and if we fail to find ourselves in at least part of that answer, we need to assess if we should really still be training.
All of this being said, I still believe it is important to have friends on the same martial arts journey. The most healthy dynamic training with friends will always occur when all parties are training unconditionally. I am lucky to have a great network of people I train with that I call my friends. I see the same group of friends training for a long time, but if one of us were to stop, I have no doubt that the remainder of the group would continue to train regardless. There is no codependence, but interdependence. Yes we are there for each other, but first and foremost, we are there for the martial arts. We all train unconditionally. Do You?
Sources:
Of Hippo, Augustine, and Robert Barron. Confessions. Word on Fire, 2018.
