One of the downfalls of eastern Asian philosophy that does not agree very much with the western philosophy we are acquainted with in civilian life is the point of not asking for things!
When we train we are often taught not to ask our instructors to test or for a promotion! We are told not to ask questions and to just do as we are told at all times. If we adopt this in our work culture in corporate America or in social situations we are going to have ourselves stepped on. We will miss opportunities and we will live with regret. This was difficult for me to shake having grown up in the martial arts world before entering my corporate life!
My friends, yes we need to be assertive and ask for things, but there is a good sentiment in this eastern philosophy.
We need to be persistent in our goals without knowing the outcome. In the book Autumn Lighting we see the prospective student continuously showing up to the instructor’s house wanting to train. He was denied the first couple of times he wanted to train. He was not even given information on the training or had his questions answered.
Many times we expect to get closure in our societies to have our questions answered, but this is not always the case. We need to approach life’s circumstances expecting nothing and accepting everything. This is easier said than done, but we need to deal with the ebbs and flows in life and understand that we will not always know the answers. We continue on anyways!
If we persist and can provide ourselves the reassurance we sometimes ask from others, we can be self-sufficient and we can eventually get what we want even if it is not what we expect.
We can ask for a promotion, if we don’t get it we can apply for jobs elsewhere where we are appreciated.
We can ask a girl on a date, if she says no, instead of harassing her, we can move on and say that there are better people that will appreciate us for who we are.
We can approach healthy confrontation and pursue what we want. We might not get it, but we will live without regret or wondering “what if?”
