I’ve been on a long journey with self-confidence, it wasn’t always easy for me to believe in myself. Every time I couldn’t get a new skill, whether it be a new guitar riff or advanced kick, I’d beat myself up, say I suck, and think it’s just never going to happen for me. It led to me more or less “fearing” the skill, and focusing more on the things I already felt comfortable with. I felt like I was in a rut, and I wished so hard I could just be better.
I knew what I needed to do, we’ve all heard it, in order to grow you have to go outside of your comfort zone. I had to start believing in myself, I couldn’t compare my learning progression with others, I had to just trust my own journey. Every time I’d want to beat myself up and quit, I’d start to whisper to myself “you got this”. Even if I didn’t believe it, I kept saying it. This led me to start practicing more of my “feared” skills, and I began to start seeing improvements, little by little; I started gaining more confidence! Of course, I still am a perfectionist and usually won’t praise myself until I’m perfectly satisfied with the technique, but having me as my own supporter now helps a lot.
We really have to be careful about how we talk and think about ourselves, for it will directly relate to your mood, and the overall way you walk through life. I have a friend that every time she feels like she’s talking too much she tells herself, “shut up”, and I can see it impacts her confidence every time she says it. She may be doing it as a joke, but it’s still not a good habit to get into for daily life. Even if you don’t believe wholeheartedly in your self-love, getting into the practice of expressing it anyways will already start making a big difference in your life. The most important person that needs to believe in you, is you.