This article is less of a “part 2” than an addendum to David’s incredible Imposter Syndrome article, however I feel this is an important perspective to discuss. The nagging thought of “am I good enough?” David talked about not only impacts students, but instructors as well. As students, we looked up to our instructors as these untouchable beings that blew our minds with the most mundane of movements. Eventually the time comes for us to teach, and then that thought settles in our head, “there’s no way I can teach, I can’t do [insert technique here] like he/she does!”. Further along in our martial arts journey there comes a time to test for our next rank, and we realize we would be the same rank our instructor was (or perhaps even outrank them!) and that same, doubting thought creeps back into our mind again.
Much like David, I believe that if you are having these very thoughts, it’s a good sign you’re not a narcissist nor are you unworthy of your rank. It’s a sure sign of self-awareness and appreciation of not only your own journey, but the journey of those who preceded you. Here are a couple additional pieces of encouragement and admonishment to help you overcome these doubts as an instructor.
3. Your Rank is a Sign of Trust
When you were recommended to test, your instructor (and possibly others) knew you were ready for the next level of responsibility and put their faith in you to meet that expectation. If your instructor asks you to help with teaching a class or leading warm ups, they are placing their trust in you not necessarily as a way to test you (although that is sometimes a secondary or tertiary goal), but it’s because they see the potential you have as a teacher. As one character in a popular anime called Gurren Lagann said, “if you don’t trust yourself, then put your trust in me who trusts in you!”. Your instructors/leaders/peers/students put their trust in you, it’s okay to put your trust in them!
4. Pave the Way for Your Students
It is comfortable to stay in one spot; inertia, after all, is universal. But as an instructor, there will come a time when your own students start approaching your rank. Unless you envision a bunch of students at your level, you will need to either advance in rank yourself or recommend your students to a different studio so they can continue to grow in their training. As an instructor we need to stay a step ahead of our students so we can set an example of how to reach that next level. The word “Sensei” literally means “the life that came before”, and “Sah Bum” (or “Shihan” in Japanese) literally means “teaching example”. As instructors we are setting an example whether we mean to or not.
5. You are NOT Your Instructor (and That’s Okay)
When I received my invitation to test for my 4th degree black belt, I was filled with all kinds of conflicting emotions; I would be testing for the same rank as my first instructor, and I would be leap-frogging my second instructor in rank. I felt I was unworthy of measuring myself on the same level as these two men who were so instrumental in my martial arts journey. Even after receiving my 4th degree rank, it still doesn’t seem quite right. But it’s also important to remember that my journey is my own; they are simply on a different path, and perhaps one day our paths will converge. While our instructors are no doubt important in our growth as martial artists, our own impression of them can also very easily become a burden to our advancement.
In closing, I will ask the same questions David asked in his article, except with a twist: Do you have a trust problem? Are you fair to yourself and your students? What do you want out of being an instructor? And really, what do you want out of life?
