I have a lot of great friends that I’ve met through training and our association. I’ve mentioned in previous articles that the connections you make in martial arts are different from regular everyday interactions; you have to have a certain level of trust and respect to let someone punch and kick at you. It is because of this I have close friends of all ages, across all different parts of the world. One of the good friends I made growing up at the studio, Gena, moved to the Bay Area in California after a few years in Illinois, and then to Oregon after a few more years. We always kept in touch with each other, in fact I’ve visited her at all of the places she’s lived so far!
A few months ago she invited me to attend her region’s black belt camp, taking place on the beach in Oregon. It was a great trip, not only for the training but also reconnecting with Gena as I hadn’t seen her in person in a year or so. I’ve always gravitated towards her because she is very kind, hardworking, generous, and supportive. We always have a good time talking about martial arts and studio ownership, and I noticed something interesting whenever she would talk about someone she looks up to. She would begin to describe them, and almost every time, for every person, she started out by saying “they’re so intelligent”. I noticed this right away, as often when people my age (20’s) are describing somebody they mention appearance or material objects they possess. Maybe it’s because of the societal pressures put on my age group, or this may be something to chalk up to maturity, as Gena is a little older than I am, but I also think it speaks a lot to Gena’s overall character and what she admires in people.
I’ve started to be more cognizant of what I say now when describing others, as it relates to what you value in that person. Looking back to when I was describing Gena in my previous paragraph, those characteristics just seemed like the most obvious ones to me. Reflecting on it, I do value people’s kindness a lot, so it’s no wonder it was the first thing I thought of.
It’s something interesting to think about. I’m not saying it’s necessarily wrong to admire somebody’s appearance, belongings, or monetary status, but these things are more or less relative and fleeting. What will impact people the most is who someone is as a person, their character, and how they treat others.
