While reading through Malcom Gladwell’s Tipping Point, one point that he made really stuck with me. He points out that those with whom we spend the most amount of time and build connections are not necessarily those that share the same values with us, but rather those that partake in the same activities!
As I reflect on my friends that were invited to my wedding, this couldn’t be more true for me. My wedding guests and groomsmen were part of three groups that sometimes had overlap between them. They were either family, engineers or martial artists. One of my groomsmen even lives a four and a half hour drive away, yet I was still able to see him ten weekends this past year being brought together by the art of Tang Soo Do. Certainly, a four and a half hour drive is no easy task, but both of us would probably agree that the trip feels a lot shorter given the opportunity to train together, share a meal, and build connections with our other martial arts friends. I had only one wedding guest with whom I went to high school who to no surprise is really more of a martial arts friend, and one wedding guest with who I went to grade school who again, was a martial arts friend and is a very technical person having a degree in Physics and currently studying for an MD PhD with an interest in image processing and medical imaging. The bulk of my wife’s wedding guests fit into two categories: family, and friends from dance.
What does this mean for us? There are people that are in our lives that are transient. We may only be connected loosely to them by geographic convenience. This can either refer to where we live or where we work. Think about how many folks you still communicate with from High School. Many of these people are friends that we had shared interests or activities with. If these activities do not stay persistent, we will fall out of touch with these people. If these activities stay persistent, the relationship will stay persistent as well. In addition, many relationships hinged on geographic convenience tend to fall apart and become distant. To any youth that are reading this, prioritize your relationships early on with those that have the same hobbies and interests as you. You will feel free to be yourself around these people and will have relationships that last.
Sources:
Gladwell, Malcolm, and Aleksiy Muzhytskiy. The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference Malcolm Gladwell. AB Publishing, 2017.
