“…fear is a mechanism that holds us back and prevents growth.”
Martial artists have to face their fears all the time. Think about how many times you have heard an instructor say in a dojo, “You can’t break the board because you are afraid of it”. How many times have you seen people get afraid in the sparring ring? Or the amount of times beginners are afraid to pair with a Black Belt to learn? You may have seen this a lot, or you may have been one of those, or even still one of those, people. The amazing thing is, though some people quit, a lot of the people push on. They work through their fears and surpass them to improve. See, martial artists understand that fear is a mechanism that holds us back and prevents growth. Fear is also a mechanism to keep us in our comfort zone and prevent us from moving forward. There are even times when we are afraid to do something and don’t even realize that we are afraid. We come up with all types of excuses for not doing what needs to be done instead of addressing the problem as is, our fear. How many times do we see someone with a fear of rejection come up with every excuse in the book to not make a move? We hear them say “It’s just not the right time”, “I think it’s better to wait”, “I need to get better at this first”. Whether this is them wanting to ask someone out, or apply for a new job, we hear this a lot. Now these are all good reasons to wait before taking an action, right? Timing is always important and making sure you have the skill or confidence you want before doing something is also important. The problem is when it is never the right time, or when you just seem to never be better like you say you want. At some point, we have to realize that the issue may not be the timing or the skill but something else, and usually that something else is fear.
As martial artists, I believe we all had a time in which we were afraid to do something, but eventually passed it, and in doing so we watched ourselves grow. Whether it was our first time breaking boards or concrete, participating in a tournament, getting in the sparring ring, etc., I believe we all had a fear to overcome and we overcame it. We identified our fear, but we didn’t let it stop us. Though we were afraid of what may happen, we didn’t become “frozen in fear”; we kept pushing in preparation to surpass that fear. Though we may have been afraid of hurting our hand when punching through wood, or afraid of getting hurt while sparring, we still trained to do those things and some of us succeeded. Just as we face our fears in martial arts, we should be able to face our fears in other areas of our life.
Whether we may be afraid to ask for a promotion, afraid to apply for a new job, or afraid to ask that attractive person out, we should acknowledge that fear and deal with it. Whether that means practicing how we are going to ask for that promotion with a friend or in the mirror, spending weeks preparing for the interview, or finding ways to gain the confidence to ask that person out, we can prepare to face that fear and move forward. Also understanding we still may not get that promotion, we may not get that job, we may get rejected, but at least we were not frozen, frozen by fear. Though we may fail, like losing a sparring match or not breaking a board, the knowledge we gain from that failure helps us improve for the next time. Let nothing stop you from growing, including your fears.
