Sparring is a game; Sparring is friendly; Sparring is for mutual self-improvement with a partner
I’m going to be honest with you. When I was younger, I absolutely hated sparring. I think a solid part of that had to do with the fact that I was a 9 year old novice among a class of adult black belts. I was terrified, and Physics certainly was not on my side! I felt like I had to be incredibly guarded in my approach. If I made one bad move, I would pay for it.
Fast forward to my teen years. I had a different insecurity about sparring. I felt like I had to dominate, even when sparring in the dojang. As Allen Iverson would say, “Not a game, We’re talking about Practice!”
I was better at sparring, but it was still not enjoyable. While my ability certainly increased with experience, I still lacked massive amounts of maturity. I always viewed sparring through the lens of “Me vs. Them”. Everything was always a competition. You could certainly say that I took a combative approach when that was never necessary at all!
One thing I want you to note is that I am using the word sparring very intentionally, not fighting. Sparring is many things: Sparring is a game; Sparring is friendly; Sparring is for mutual self-improvement with a partner. These are Completely different connotations from fighting where there is selfish mal intent to injure the other person. Usually, there is an element of ego involved as well.
Don’t get me wrong, sparring can be competitive, and for the sake of this article we will even put professional UFC Fights in the bucket of “sparring”. From the outside looking in, it is easy to see so much ego in that realm, but You need to look closer. If you watch highlights of Liyoto Machida, after every knockout win, he kneels waiting for his opponent to wake up and then bows to his opponent. Behind the scenes, you can even see Connor MacGregor engaging in friendly constructive comradery with other UFC Fighters. The important thing to note here, is that it is still a game! After the fights, whether you see it or not, sportsmanship is still encouraged. If done correctly, emotions are left in the ring or Octagon.
But Sparring does not have to be competitive. In Netflix’s adaptation of The Queens Gambit, chess prodigy Beth Harmon states, “Chess Doesn’t have to be competitive. It can be a dance of the pieces on the board. (Scott)” When sparring in class, we don’t have to make it a competition. We can try to make it a fluid and artistic “Dance” or exchange of techniques. When winning is not the main goal or metric, not only do I think we will spar with less fear and tension, but I also think we will be able to grow more from the experience of sparring! Take a collaborative approach. It is no longer you versus them, but both of you working together.
Now I will challenge you. How do you spar? Is it Constructive? Are you scared? Do you scare others? Depending on your answers to these questions, you may want to change your mental approach to sparring, and if you teach, you may want to look at the approach your students take!
REFERENCES
Frank, Scott. “Doubled Pawns.” The Queen’s Gambit, season 1, episode 3, Netflix, 23 Oct. 2020.
