One of my favorite parts about martial arts is how individualized it is; many other physical activities are team-based. While we do utilize partner work in martial arts, a majority of our training and progression in skill comes from working on your own. Everyday you train you are aiming to be better than yourself the day before.
Maybe it’s just me, or the fact I was never good at sports, but I loved this aspect of martial arts. It didn’t matter if I wasn’t good at something because I knew I could work hard to get better, and unlike sports I didn’t have the aspect of letting down a team weighing on my shoulders. Of course, I didn’t want to let down my instructor by being inefficient at my techniques, but every instructor I’ve had always said that as long as you’re actively putting in effort, that’s all they ask. This method of training clicked with me, and I believe it’s (one of the reasons) why I continue to practice martial arts to this day. It encourages you to be better not for others, but for yourself. Wherever you are personally satisfied with your skills and can execute them effectively, you are valid.
I was reflecting on this interestingly enough not in a martial arts setting, but when I saw a new Boba tea place I wanted to try. I was waiting to go until one of my friends could go with me so I wouldn’t have to go alone. I’m at that point of adulthood where it’s hard to coordinate a get together with friends due to work schedules, various life events, etc. So I ended up just going alone to try it out; I usually get a bit of anxiety trying new places so I was a bit hesitant at first. Then I started thinking about all the personal growth I’ve made in martial arts, not necessarily the physical aspect, but how I’ve learned that a lot of my growth happened on my own. I’ve developed the life skill of finding peace in solitude, becoming my own friend and confidante, as well as my own personal motivator. The new Boba place was just a new adventure for myself.
At the end of the day, the person who will always be there for you is you. You know yourself better than anyone, and you’re stuck with yourself for as long as you’ll live! Might as well take the time to find contentment with yourself, by yourself. A lot of growth happens when no one is watching, so find the time to become friends with yourself. Help yourself become the best you can be, without relying on others.
